Tuesday, May 09, 2006

David Blaine – Magician or Idiot?

I am sorry to say that I threw away 30 minutes of my life last night watching David Blaine fail miserably while attempting to break the record for holding his breathe. He came up almost 2 minutes short of the current world record of 8:58. As a matter of fact, his time is only 10th best ever recorded. It was the biggest live TV flop since Geraldo busted open Al Capone’s safe.

David Blaine’s extensive resume now includes being buried alive, frozen in time, stuck on a pole, locked in a box and drowned alive. That is not magic, that is a lame episode of “Fear Factor”. Fill the tank with flesh eating fish and goat testicles or have a crane violently shake the snow-globe type tank, then you have something.

Stuart Scott hosted the 2 hour event on ABC which featured segments on his the extensive training he went through in order to fall short by 20%. Perhaps Stuart said it best when Blaine fell short, Stuart, then off camera narrated the events by stating “While Blaine did not achieve what he had set out to do, people watched him” They interviewed Blaine’s head trainer, Kirk Krack, who adds nothing to this story, but I wanted to use his name.

The truly amazing thing about the David Blaine phenomenon is the people that follow him. Linda Brady, of New York City, brought along a boom box and loudly played Jennifer Lopez's "My Love is All I Have." "I just love him," Brady said. "He has a creative mind just like me, and he's crazy just like me."

Imagine the possibilities… I think after I get off work today, I will grab my “boom box” and head over to Roger Clemens’ house and blast out the “Player” classic "Baby Come Back". Come on sing it with me…

Baby come back, any kind of fool could see
There was something in everything about you
Baby come back, you can blame it all on me
I was wrong, and I just can't live without you

Another spectator, David Linker, said Blaine symbolized "man's strength to go beyond what normal people can do." Yea, that’s right and John Daly symbolizes man’s amazing ability to overcome additions like alcohol and gambling.

The only thing any of these stunts have managed to accomplish is the fill David Blaine’s bank account. Which I guess is the point, right?

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