Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Mark Mangino Controversy in Lawrence

University of Kansas Chancellor Robert Hemenway has had several closed door meetings with Head Football Coach Mark Mangino, after reports surfaced that several items had disappeared from the Natural History Museum. Items missing included two stuffed Polar bears, three stuffed moose and several other smaller animals.

Several members of the museum staff had seen members of the KU football team carrying some of the items out of the museum to a waiting truck with Mangino at the wheel.

When asked about the reports, Mangino explained that he has been in a dispute with local Dillon’s grocery stores regarding the amount of meat they stock.

“Over the last several months, I have been buying every pound of beef and pork I could find but they are always out of stock towards the end of the week.” Said Mangino. He continued, “I tried some of the chicken, but it just seemed too healthy.” “I have a very high metabolism rate and I have to eat a lot of sausage and pork chops or I start to get weak and have even passed out”.

Dillon’s Regional Manager, Gary Jenkins, says they have struggled over the last few years stocking enough meat for Coach Mangino. “We have expanded our Meat departments at all of our Lawrence based stores and even increased the number of deliveries during the week. However, we have been unable to keep up with the Coach’s demand for fatty foods.”

Coach Mangino has offered to return two of the moose and one polar bear but he will have to replace the animals that he ate. “I had a helluva bar-b-que with that first polar bear. I had never eaten polar bear and thought it was kind of tough, then the Chancellor told be it was actually stuffed and I had eaten about 400 pounds of foam” “I will eat anything if you put enough bacon fat and butter on it” Mangino said when asked about eating the stuffed moose.

The plant and vegetation section of the Museum was untouched.


Anonymous said...

This Sucks

Anonymous said...

Could Mangino sue for this?